I’ve heard that people who are trained to recognize counterfeit money do not study the fake stuff--they study real money SO diligently that when they see counterfeit, it’s an easy catch. That’s what I want for my kids. I want them to know Christ so closely, that when something of the devil comes along to deceive them, it’s an easy catch.
I see children who go to church on Sundays and the rest of the week have free range of tik-tok and youtube and snapchat and listen to whatever music they want and post half-naked pictures of themselves on instagram quoting lyrics like, “you know how to touch me…”
I’ve seen “boys” reply to those pics and say things like, “we should meet in person some time.”
And I’ve let parents know that their daughter is at risk of possibly meeting a stranger who wanted to meet their daughter because of her sexy picture on the internet.
Is this what it takes to be relevant?
Are we so worried of our children being awkward that we’d rather them be at-risk?
Why are young Christian girls allowed to watch a show called “Gossip Girls?” Or how about "Pretty little liars?"
Why would we sit down with our family to watch shows that sexually objectify minors?
How about the music that glorifies self-destructive behaviors? Suicide? Drinking yourself to oblivion over some guy? Sleeping around--as if that brings fulfillment and not heartache and long lasting consequences (not to mention STDs)?
I KNOW that very sheltered children sometimes turn out to be the most rebellious later in life! I know a parent can do everything right and still have their child choose to end their life or leave their faith. I’ve seen it multiple times in the last few years. I also know that you can follow a 1-2-3 rule book to raise perfect children and they will hate you for it. Because it can’t be all about rules. It has to be relationship too. It has to be their own heart, knowing and loving Jesus.
But as I witness these once-a-week Christian minors, saturated in the dirt and pain and sin of this world 6 days a week, echoing in public school classrooms, beating through their earbuds, and shining from all their different screens, I am personally rebuked by the fact that I have ever worried about how “sheltered” I should keep Josiah from media and pop-culture. I have often worried that by keeping my children from mainstream media, I would keep them from being relevant and relatable. But my God, I’d rather them be awkward home-schooled kids than these insecure, self-destructive, sometimes malicious children that I have recently witnessed on the internet and in person. (And just to note, THE most socially adept children I've ever met, have been home-schooled).
I know this seems harsh but I’m sickened. In a world where children are LEGALLY ripped apart in the womb, where there are “brothels” filled with four year old little girls, where boys and girls alike are sold multiple times a day to be raped, where “morality” is subjective...where sexuality is becoming more and more whatever and however and whenever you want for your own immediate gratification...where beastality is a joke...I’d rather my children have objective morality.
And that comes from The Bible.
And the Bible says to be “wise about what is good, innocent about what is evil” (Romans 16:19-20)
To “not participate in the worthless and unproductive deeds of darkness” (Ephesians 5:11)
To dwell on things that are “true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, praiseworthy” (Philippians 4:8)
And, we are warned, that we WILL sow what we reap. If we reap unto the flesh, instead of the Holy Spirit, we WILL reap destruction. (See Galatians 6)
I was one of those minors, you know, that sowed "unto my flesh" about 6 days a week. I had earbuds pumping lust with a good beat and screens showing me how to be sexy as 14 year old. I had a Bible on my shelf and inappropriate texts on my cell. I had boys rubbing my legs in class. I had the attention. And I cried and shook in the bathroom at school because while I had all the relevancy--I did not have security. Until Jesus transformed my heart. Then I had a deep hunger to know Him. So I read His word and I haven't stopped. And the more I am saturated with Him, the less hungry I am for anything else. I don't want the world. I am already quenched. Because I now live in one kingdom, not two. I'm not trying to be of the world and of the kingdom of Heaven. "Don't you know that friendship with the world makes you an enemy of God?" (James 4:4) We are told in scripture to do everything to the glory of God--we're even given the simple example of eating and drinking (see Colossians 3). So whether we are working, or watching, or listening, or cooking, or thinking, or parenting...we can and should do it to His glory. Jesus did. He worked wood, and went to weddings, and cooked fish on the beach, and sat with children, and preached, and discipled, and healed the sick, and raised the dead and He did it all equally for the glory of God. And while,yes, he hung out with sinners, He never ever participated in any sort of sin. He loved them deeply and genuinely and said, "now go and sin no more." Because when you are an authority, it's not the loving thing to let your children wallow in the poison of sin. You do your part, and they will choose to do theirs. But you do your part.
So I’ll show my children how to love. I’ll teach them to serve. To pray. To pray for wisdom and discernment. But I won't be regularly showing them mainstream media in my home.
It’s okay if they know how to blush.
It’s okay if they are the only one of their friends who stands up in the middle of a movie and walks out of the theater. Because they still hear His voice.
I want them to still hear His voice.
And even if they don’t understand the TV show you referenced, or can’t sing along with the latest song, I hope they’ll know the scriptures and sing God’s praises. It IS a better use of time. It IS more fulfilling. And it IS my job, NOT the culture’s, to teach my children about morality.
And then I pray and wait and see what happens.
Culture changes but God is the same yesterday, today, and forever. His word endures forever. His standards have not, and will not change.
His voice is enough.
"You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore" (Psalm 16:11) See? They won't be missing out.