Nursing is natural. But man! For me, it started out painful! I saw four different lactation consultants in Josiah’s first three months of life. I took him to a craniosacral therapist (It’s okay, I hadn’t heard of one either). I had to keep a heating pad on my breasts before I nursed. I wore nipple shields for over a month--constantly sterilizing them in boiling water so we wouldn’t get thrush. I went to a breastfeeding support group at a local hospital and left one day to never return after the therapist gestured to my baby in front of all the other women saying, “THIS is not a happy baby.” I packed up Josiah, brought him screaming back to the car, and managed to hold back the tears until my head collapsed on the steering wheel. Before I could drive away, I called my sister because she was much more supportive than that stupid “support” group.
Josiah wouldn’t let me use a nursing cover so I was forced to either leave social settings, or, if it was all women, overcome my humiliation and just be bare chested in front of them. I ended up taking Josiah to the hospital where they “clipped" his tongue because he had a tongue tie. The doctor had a new person do it, so I watched, trembling and holding back sobs, as this sweet lady took for-freaking-ever, pressing Josiah's tiny tongue to the roof of his mouth until I thought the thing would just rip, to use the little scissors and clip my SCREAMING infant’s tongue. They said he would nurse less painfully immediately after and it would get better. It didn’t.
He screamed for hours some days. Lots of days actually. I was up nursing him every 45 minutes on a bad night, and every 2 hours on a good night (which I continued until he was a year and half). All this while I had friends telling me I needed to “sleep train” him--that it was for my own sanity and that he would be fine. We tried and IT WOULD NOT WORK. And my instinct told me, he wasn’t ready.
My mom told me nursing would get better at three months. This made no sense to me, but as usual, she was exactly on the dot. At three months, Josiah became happier in general and nursing stopped hurting. But he still wanted to do it ALL THE TIME. And you know what? I’m so grateful I kept it up. I’m so grateful I got up with him all those nights. Do I wish he had slept through the night earlier and easier? Yes, definitely. BUT, because he didn’t, I’m glad I chose to use breastfeeding not only when he was hungry, but when he wanted his mama.
As I read the Bible, it becomes more and more clear to me that God gave us breasts for many reasons besides filling the tummy of a hungry baby. They’re for our beauty and our husband’s pleasure (Proverbs 5:19), they are obviously for meeting hunger needs of our babies, and they are for comforting (Isaiah 66:11-13).
Why do we feel that feeding their tummies is more important than feeding their souls? With all this “self-love” going on, can’t we understand that our baby’s emotional needs are just as important as their physical needs?
Ladies, take other well-meaning moms’ advice with a grain of salt! If you want to sleep train because you need the darn sleep, do it! God gave you a distinct and powerful instinct for your own baby and each one that follows! You have what it takes to make decisions. Of course we need to thoughtfully consider wisdom from others, but you make your own choice and rest in the fact that God made you, not anyone else, your baby’s mother. And you, not anyone else, knows what is going on in your home, and in your body.
And, if like me, you choose to nurse through the night and whenever-the-heck your baby wants to nurse for his peace and satisfaction and comfort, nurse away! Don’t feel like you’re “spoiling” him or whatever.
Listen to how God describes bringing His favor in this Isaiah 66 passage:
“For you will nurse and be satisfied
at her COMFORTING breasts;
you will drink deeply
and DELIGHT in her OVERFLOWING abundance.”
12 For this is what the Lord says:
“I will extend PEACE to her like a river,
and the wealth of nations like a flooding stream;
you will nurse and be carried on her arm
and dandled on her knees.
13 As a mother comforts her child,
so will I comfort you;
and you will be comforted over Jerusalem.”
Emphasis added by me.
So what I see here is that breastfeeding is for the total peace, comfort, AND nourishment of our babies’ physical AND emotional needs.
I also see that breastfeeding and bouncing, two things that as a mom with a colicky baby I am very familiar with, are POWERFUL. Why would God create us to release the hormones prolactin and oxytocin when we breastfeed if nursing was simply for filling a stomach? It’s for bonding. It’s for “delighting.” It’s for peace. It’s for calm. Scientifically, as research is slowly catching up to God’s perfect plan, we now know it’s the best option for baby AND mother’s health, on many different levels, giving life-long protections against sicknesses and diseases.
In four months, I’m about to face this season again! And just like last time, I know God will give me the grace to endure the rough patches and to enjoy the rest. Plus, I know which lactation consultant to go to. Most importantly, I have the confidence and Biblical backup to know that my baby is my baby and I was designed with not only the anatomy to birth and feed him, but the brains and soul to comfort and nourish his whole self.
During all this, I had my mother. I had my sister. I had my mother-in-law. I had a couple great lactation consultants and I could NOT have figured it out without them. If anyone WANTS to breastfeed but realizes it doesn’t come naturally, get help. OHP I know covers lactation appointments and breastfeeding support groups, if you find a good one anyway, are free.
As they say, you do you!